I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
