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Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
