quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
