how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
