sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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