I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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