so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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