I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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