I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The best revenge is premature balding
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize