Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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