I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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