Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
