Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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