this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
