Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
