you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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