my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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