you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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