oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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