mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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