You can't special order awesome
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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