you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
