You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize