My vagina just recognized that song.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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