how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize