When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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