Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
