drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
