There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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