After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
