Sry I called you an 8
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
