Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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