I think I died a long time ago.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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