Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
