you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
