I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
