No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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