just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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