People with herpes should wear stickers.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
