Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
