Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
