My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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