U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
