The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize