the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize