When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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