Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
