i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
that's an acceptable place to lick
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
