As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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