I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
