Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
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if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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