I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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