You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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