I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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