her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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