is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize