she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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