I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
