What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am available for nakedness
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
