It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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